Trevor Noah Plays ‘Who’d You Rather?’

All right, we’re back
with Trevor Noah. And so congratulations,
you were named– People Magazine has a list
of different kinds of sexy and you were sexiest, 34. Yes. Yes. It’s a very specific sexy. [APPLAUSE] A very, very specific
sexy, but I take it. Very specific at an age. I want to look like I was
president for two terms. [LAUGHTER] That’s what I want,
that kind of aging. I see. It’s just gray hair,
that’s all it is. He looks good since he
hasn’t been president. He has. He’s unaged. He’s unaged. Yeah, after he stopped
being president, it’s amazing that the
life comes back to you. It truly, truly is. No, genuinely. I said this when I
met President Obama. Obviously I interviewed
him when he was in office– like right at the end. And then I saw him
a few months later, and I was like, where
were you hiding this? You know, and he’s
just got this thing. He’s like, well,
you know, Trevor, when you’re not fighting
Fox News every day, you know, it comes back. You know, it comes back. And he just had this thing and
his hair has gotten darker. [APPLAUSE] Yeah, no, he’s a happy guy now. And Michelle’s happy too. I think they’re both happy. Yeah, they’re
living a great life. OK, so you’re single. Yes, I am. You’re single. [CHEERING] So we’re going to play a game. It’s called Who
Would You Rather. We’re going to show
you some people and we’re going to end up with
the person that’s best for you. OK. OK? You have to be honest here. I will be completely honest. Give us your thoughts. OK, let’s see the first two. Oh, Rihanna, are you kidding me? We have the exact same birthday. And what is that? February 20th. February 20th. Yeah, so then I would
never forget her birthday. That’s an easy relationship. Yeah. Does that mean you’re Aquarius? Or you’re? Pisces. Pisces, OK. Rihanna, Tiffany. Rihanna, Tiffany Haddish. This is hard. I would switch to
Tiffany Haddish now. Really? Yeah, you know why? Because like Rihanna, after a
while I get bored of the fact that everyone’s like, it’s
Rihanna, it’s Rihanna, who’s that? Like you know, I want that
relationship to be more equal. That’s right. Like Rihanna, I would
be a fan of hers as well in the relationship, which in
not a healthy relationship. No, it has to be balanced. I’m just going to
wake up every morning to be like, oh my
God, it’s Rihanna. She’s like, we’ve been
dating for three years. Yeah, but still. So yeah, Tiffany Haddish. All right. She’s fun, she’s
funny, she’s beautiful. I go with her. Now we’ve got a
Kardashian for you. Oh. OK, dirty secret, I would
have always loved to date a Kardashian just
for like a week. That’s how long they last. That’s actually the average. Just to be in that world. I want to be on the show. I want to be in the game. I want to be a Kardashian
just for a little bit. You know what? So I’ll switch to Khloé. I’ll go Khloé Kardashian. OK, good. I’m friendly with them. If you would like
to be on the show, or would like to hang out
with them, I can arrange that. You’re going to hook me
up with a Kardashian? If you’d like that. Wow. I bet they would be thrilled. I mean, look at you. You’re just doing this
right now, matchmaking? Yes. Yeah, this is not a game. Oh, this is an actual thing. They’re lined up
backstage, all of them. [LAUGHTER] Can you imagine if one
of them walked out? OK, Khloé Kardashian,
Jennifer Aniston. I’m going to stick
with Khloé Kardashian. Jennifer Aniston, yeah, no,
I’m going to stick with Khloé. I’m still into the action. I’m in the action. Good, all right, I’m going
to work this out for you. Right. All right. Oh, now I jump, Nicki Minaj. [LAUGHTER] Yeah, no, Nicki Minaj. But– No, because like Khloé
could be too much drama, but it’s not controlled drama. With Nicki, we can rap together. We can do the whole thing. OK. Yeah, and if she
wants me, that means that her buns want some from
my Anaconda, so we’re rolling. [APPLAUSE] I’m with Nicki. Didn’t think we’d be
talking about your Anaconda, but all right, let’s
see Nicki and– Ariana Grande. No, because then
I’ll be in a song. No, not in a bad way. I just– I don’t– You don’t want to be in a song? Yeah, I don’t want to be
like in the thank you, next. And then it’s going to be like– Nicki Minaj! Nicki is the winner. I get Nicki Minaj? You get her. [APPLAUSE] Nicki, come on out. All right, Nicki is
putting on that outfit and she’ll be waiting
in your dressing room. Thank you, Ellen. You’re welcome. Thank you. You’re welcome. If you change your
mind about hanging out with the Kardashians, I
can hook that up for you. I think you’re being serious. Yeah, I am being serious. Oh wow. Yeah, name which one
and what you want to do. [LAUGHTER] So I can call Kris and ask her. OK. All right? OK, I’ll write out a
wish list, I guess. Yeah, it has to go through Kris,
but I think I can handle it. OK. All right. You’re being very serious. Yeah. And I don’t know
what to do with this. I know. I know. Let me know. I’ll let you know. All right, On Second Thought,
the Trevor Noah podcast launches the week of
April 23 on Luminary. We’ll be right back. Trevor Noah.

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