-I do want to tick off some of your projects. -By the way, there’s a bunch of them. -You got — There’s three. There’s three things I want to ask you about. -Okay, three. -“Santa Clarita Diet.” Season three, right? -Season three. Streaming on Netflix. -Streaming on Netflix. [ Cheers and applause ] -Moving on.
-Here’s our favorite jokes of the week. [ Cheers and applause ] The White House held an event this afternoon to honor the military dog used in the raid on the leader of ISIS. Of course, the poor thing had no idea what was going on, and neither did the dog. President Trump, this afternoon,
-Let’s get to the news. The White House held an event this afternoon to honor the military dog used in the raid on the leader of ISIS. Of course, the poor thing had no idea what was going on. And neither did the dog. According to reports, Republican Congressman Devin Nunes went to Europe last
WELCOME, ONE AND ALL TO “THE LATE SHOW.” I’M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. YOU CAN FEEL THE EXCITEMENT. YOU KNOW WHY? THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMING. WE’RE JUST TWO DAYS AWAY FROM THANKSGIVING. IF YOU WANT MOIST BREAST MEAT, PUT YOUR TURKEY IN THE OVEN NOW, AT 75 DEGREES FOR 48 HOURS.( LAUGHTER ) TODAY, THE
[MUSIC PLAYING] [RUBBING HANDS TOGETHER] [EXHALE] Happy birthday Mac, yeah. Yeah! Mac the God. Happy birthday. He’s one years old. – Yeah. – He knew it too. He was like hopping around and shit. He was acting like a little diva yesterday. I was like, relax dog. How did we celebrate? OK, his thing is
WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY! GIVE IT UP FOR JON BATISTE AND “STAY HUMAN” RIGHT NOW! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪ OH, OH! FOLKS, I GOTTA TELL YOU, NO MISTAKING A MONDAY CROWD. THAT’S IT RIGHT HERE, THEY’RE ON THE PLANET. FOLKS, I’M A BIG ANIMAL LOVER. THAT’S WHY I DO WHATEVER I CAN TO HELP
>>Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME, KEVIN HART! ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )>>HELLO! HELLO! HELLO! IT’S AMAZING, ISN’T IT? GOOD FOR YOU.>>Stephen: PEOPLE VERY EXCITED ABOUT KEVIN HART.>>OH, STOP IT! STOP THAT!>>Stephen: WAIT A SECOND. THAT’S AN AMAZING RESPONSE, BUT YOU MUST BE USED TO THAT PAUSE YOU’RE ONE OF THE FEW COMEDIANS IN THE WORLD, YOU
DID YOU GUYS WATCH THE WESTMINSTER DOG SHOW THIS WEEKEND? I LOVE IT. IT’S LIKE THE GRAMMYS, BUT WITH DOGS, AND LESS PUBLIC URINATION. AND YESTERDAY, THEY ANNOUNCED THE BEST-IN-SHOW WINNER, A GERMAN SHORT-HAIRED POINTER NAMED C.J. LOOK AT THAT BEAUTIFUL DOG! ( APPLAUSE ) FINALLY ANSWERING THE AGE-OLD QUESTION, “WHO’S A GOOD BOY?” (