Hambone, Pug | The Book of Dog | Topic


– [Pug] Oh, hi. Hi, there.
How long have you been there? Are we supposed to do this
today? My memory is not great. Well, hello, friends. So most
other breeds were probably bragging like they’re 200 years older or
something, right? Let me flip back a little bit, more, and more. How
about this? Nine hundred years old. Not kidding. In dog
years, that’s way more. Yup, that’s us in 12th Century China.
I’m not sure if we came from there originally, or Europe or what.
My memory isn’t great. But pugs are like the citizens of the
world. I’m also not sure why we’re called pugs. My best guess
is pugnus. It’s Latin for fist. Kind of looks like I got punched
in the face by a fist, right? Lots of dogs get bred for a job, right?
Like, German shepherds gets to herd sheep, and Bulldogs get to fight
bulls, pointers get to, like, hunt ducks or something, but
pugs, well as our name suggests, we’re the absolute best at doing
nothing. And for some reason, that is what everyone wanted.
We were traded all over the world. And along the way, we were owned
by influencers like William of Orange and Queen Victoria, the Duke and Duchess
of Windsor. We picked up a lot of titles. like boudoir dog and princess dog,
and the dog that has no useful purpose. Yeah, you know, I get it. We
weren’t just changing locations for all that time, we were getting selectively
bred. Our faces were getting pushed in. Our legs were getting shorter.
Our tails were curling up. Our skin was getting all bunched up.
This makes me prone to one or two medical issues. So, no, I’m
not going to be herding sheep or fighting bulls. But that’s my point.
I don’t need to. I’m an accessory. You don’t get these kinds of likes
for herding sheep. You get them for rolling deep. It’s actually pretty
genius. The best accessories are the most exclusive and the most exclusive are the
most expensive. So you make me so expensive to keep alive that I am
the most exclusive breed. So, go ahead, wedge me into a tutu, snap
a couple of pictures before I pass out from asphyxiation,
and “boom,” you’re a celebrity. Let’s see a German shepherd do that.
Oh, hey. How long have you been there? Was this for today? I think I forgot.
Hey, wait a minute. How long have you been there? ♪ [music] ♪

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